Four Lessons from Norway
(Modified) Excerpt from a letter dating January 2010 :)
Lesson no. 1 : Norwegians have a very peculiar sense of humor. So I get on the flight and it's FREEZING cold - and I really mean extraordinarly cold for some reason. So I intercept one of the men working there and ask : would you happen to have some blankets onboard? And he say why sure we do let me go get one. He comes back with a blanket, hands it to me and says: would you like us to sing you a lullaby with that?
Lesson no. 2: The "effectiveness" of Nowegians. Norwegians are practical people. They don't bother with useless things like decoration. Their hobbies are not painting and visiting art galleries -- it is Do-it-yourself house projects and digging weeds in the jungle out there that is known as "house garden" (it is my personal belief that garden gnomes were invented as a fantasy of some Norwegians who secretly wished they would have nannies, and maids and -why not?- even a gnome to do-it-themselves). For their benefit, however, we shall stick with this conception that the Norwegian man loves to work and finds pleasure in this housework. The guidebook told me so, and I believe it after having entered in the residence. The appartement I got is huuuuuuuuge. It's three times the size of my room in the other house I had in Kingston, and comes with a kitchen and all. There's lots of storage space, mirrors, everything you'd want to spare you the 25 minutes-long ride to IKEA. The effect however is that of a hospice -- the walls are all bare and white and the furniture is just functional but nothing more. In a sense, it is the type of designed I enjoy on a website or on my packaging -- spaced out, unclustered, ... but not in my natural habitat. I thought at first that it may just be the student residences - for some practical purpose. That was before I ran into the kindergarden school at the corner of the street. They run a business with kids -- kids who were drawing with colored pencils and making "art" -- and the entire place was colored with that bright white shade of theirs. No colors, no little lights, no famous paintings or even kiddy drawings. The only decoration was a very ugly metal star that also acted as a lantern - no doubt gathered from the all-time favourite IKEA. How can imagination be fostered in such a sterile environment? I wonder.
Lesson no. 3: The shopping spree. So I get to the grocery store and make my way to the section of refrigerated items. They have not a single cheese I do not know -- which startles me because this is Europe, and they typically specialize in cheese. Not only that but there are about 15 brands for every type of cheese out there, so rather than variety in tastes.. you find variety in brands which all taste the same and are priced the exact same. I make my way forward and then start looking at the boxes. Norway must have a very high rate of literacy. In fact let me research this for you - it is interesting. Ok, 99%, like Canada. But that 1% isn't well taken care of let me tell you. Because there either are no images on the packages of the things you want to buy in the grocery or the images are not of things that are inside the package. And with the onerous price of life here you do not want to play kinder-surprise and buy random things just to try them out. I usually do do that by the way, but here I just put them back on the shelf and walked on. This is how I ended up buying a pork roast on sale which turned out to be a cook-it-yourself giant ham once I took it out of the oven. And to think I was proud of my ability to decipher the word "pork" on the package... My grocery bill came out to 6 times what it was at home.
Lesson no. 4: Why the women's hobby is what it is. Norwegian women are big on knitting I've been told. They have "housewives groups" called Husmorlag where "members have a distinct prowess in the art of knitting". And you know why? Cauz I went downtown and saw that a simply knit hat for a child cost 120$! (can you imagine dressing up a kid, with a pullover, pants, the ski jacket, the mittains, the hat, etc.??) Well if you were earning your salary in NOK that is all well. But as a foreigner you better not loose your gloves or your hat - unless you feel like joining a Husmorlag and get some help knitting a new pair! This is probable the same reason for which the typical dish to eat at lunch is : a simple mix of bread, cheese, veggetables and milk. That's right, it's a fancy way of describing a veggetarian sandwhich. This partly explains why my bill looked so high at the cash of the grocery store -- I've lived the cultural immersion by eating such a sandwhich as described here at lunchtime but I think I shall be anti-assimilated in terms of food habits from time to time as I do not thing I can survive on bread and butter and cheese alone for days in a row.
